Losing your Virginity; Remembering your First

For some losing their virginity is a magical experience. For others, losing their virginity is an experience typically categorized by two distinct yet intertwined sensations: awkwardness and pain. As for me, it was definitely the latter. Regardless as to which category you happen to fall into one thing is for sure- your first will always be remembered. While I refuse to exclude any details for purposes you will soon understand, I offer you the opportunity to read the memory of my first, if you so choose.  

Doing ANYTHING for the first time is always a nerve racking experience. I always strive to do what I can to the best of my ability even if that means I lack the necessary experience to be considered "impressive". I did what everyone would do in my situation- I called in for reinforcements. And after a couple of failed attempts from Youtube tutorials my best friend came in for the rescue (After all, I watch her do it everyday). In no time at all my lips were plumped, my eyeliner was winged, and my head wrap was tied tight. That day I lost my virginity: It was the first time I left the house with characteristics that were culturally defined as female *pop*  

It was a social occasion among a group of my friends. In another light many of us were virgins as it was our first time going to watch the Rocky Horror Picture Show. For those who may not be familiar with the culture of this cult, the first time you watch this show the cast openly categorizes you as a ""Virgin" as you stand on stage in front of the rest of the audience. Like most, we decided to best way to enjoy the show was in costume.  

Leaving my house with this new identity left me both anxious and liberated. How would the public react? Specifically, how would other men react? How would my male friends react? It was a sensation I could only equate to the moments before boarding your first roller coaster. At that same moment I was given this unique opportunity to be uninhibited. With this new identity I had no clear defined cultural expectations. I was free.   

After an hour of enjoying my friends company in public I have come to realize any previous nerves were settled. There was not a single audible snicker, I did not face any distinct acts of violence, and while I did turn a couple of heads there was not a single face of disgusts. In fact, there were a few moments of praise. I started to question what this small segment of society thought was acceptable. I was pleased to believe that I was accepted.  

Sadly, this was short-lived.  

After going through a security checkpoint with about five security guards, getting my I.D. reviewed by another security guard, and passing a dozen or so more during my hour and a half of publically displaying my gender nonconformity I was approached.  Mr. Schmidt (not his real name) politely let me know that I must remove my head wrap. When probing for a reason why he simply stated "As a man, it is against policy for you to wear a head wrap." and of course, more questions ensued:  

Grace: What if he Identifies as a woman?  

Schmidt: …  

Ryan: Do I have to remove my hat?  

Schmidt: Your hat is fine.  

Annabelle: So a lady can wear a head wrap?  

Schmidt: Yes.  

Annabelle: And everyone can wear a hat?  

Schmidt: Yes.  

Me: But a man can't wear a head wrap?  

Schmidt: No.  

Me: How does your policy address gender identity and how does it define a head wrap?  

Schmidt: I am unsure, I am just doing my job.  

Me: Can you please connect me with someone that can answer my questions?  

  

For the next 20 minutes we waited and probed a bit more.  

According to Universal's policy a man wearing a head wrap is a safety issue as he could possibly be hiding weapons within the millimeter space between his head and the clothe. However, woman [obviously] do not posses that ability. Lets not fail to mention, it is IMPOSSIBLE to hide anything underneath a beanie, cap, or even a 10 gallon cowboy hat. All of which was observed within this waiting period without any speculation by Mr. Schmidt on their activities.  

After the 20 minute mark, I politely told him I refuse to miss the Rocky Horror Picture Show over this "issue". We walked away. We enjoyed the show.

 But I could not help but to analyze the situation afterwards. 

At no point in time did I not feel safe. I was surrounded by friends who were in complete support of me and my perspective. I have NEVER faced a situation like this, even as a proud member of the LGBT community.  

Why did I stand up to Mr. Schmidt? I am not sure if I would have questioned him at all if I was wearing a hat and he asked me to remove it. Was I subconsciously prepared to be in a controversial situation? Did I subconsciously want to be in a controversial situation? I don't know. 

What about the many self identified men that wear head-wear similar to head wraps for religious purposes? How does Universal accommodate them? Do they accommodate them? If so, why not me? Never was it determined what my religious background was. 

What about the many who identify as female even if they were born male? Is this a common occurrence? If so, I don't know how I would be as this one instance left me uncomfortable with myself. 

Was he really doing his job? 

If this is true, there is a policy issue for my previous stated reasons. There would also be a training issue as no other security guard stopped me before or after that instance. When asked if my scarf was okay to wear the typical response was a shrug and a yes. A security guard was even kind enough to take a photo for myself and my friends! 

If this is false, there is STILL a training issue. Did the security guards not get trained on diversity? How is a man able to hide a weapon under a scarf and NOT a cowboy hat? 

Regardless, this single event has left me both confused and disappointed with Universal as it highlights some very clear flaws. However, I am beyond proud of my fellow #ChangeAgents standing up for my rights OUR RIGHTS. 

Again, you always remember your first. So thank you, Mr. Schmidt;)

My ABP Story.

When deciding which school to transfer to after receiving my AA, all I wanted to do was get out of Florida. I applied to the University of San Francisco, which was my dream school since I was young and the University of Portland. I knew it would be a far stretch for me to actually leave, but I tried everything in my power to. After being accepted and going on both college tours, staying in Florida was definitely not in my plans.

Yet, here I am.

My backup plan was to attend Florida International University since it was close to home, I'd be able to keep my job, and save money. Even though there were positives to my plan, I knew that I wasn't going to be happy. Attending UCF at least gave me the opportunity to live on my own, and that is ultimately why I finally finished my application after leaving it half completed multiple times. I came to UCF with the mindset that I was AT LEAST able to be on my own, despite the fact that I still was not completely satisfied with where I was headed.

One of the first things I did after turning in my application was seeing if UCF had ABP. I had previously been a part of an ABP volunteer trip to the Dominican Republic connected with FIU and wanted to attend another trip. After seeing that ABP was available at UCF, I become slightly more optimistic. I ended up going on two trips last year, which strengthened my feelings for UCF and my experience here thus far.

Still, I never thought that I would love UCF. I knew that I would end up liking it, which I had, but I never thought that it would mean something more to me than just the university that I attended. Becoming a coordinator for the Alternative Break Program has changed that completely. Now, I speak highly of UCF and what it has to offer. I am now a part of something that makes sense to me. I have met many people who have taught me so much about myself and how to make this world a little bit better every single day. People who care and want to make a difference. People who make ME want to make a difference. So, thank you to my ABP team for all that you do and will continue doing for me and for others.

Thank you for transforming my UCF experience into something that I am proud of.

How That One Time I Was Texan Helped Me Plan a Volunteering Trip

I had been studying in America for a couple of months when somebody asked me where I was from since I apparently had an adorable accent. I get this kind of comments and questions all the time, so I didn’t hesitate to respond that I am an international student from Venezuela. I understand that sometimes my English breaks and what I say can be misunderstood. But I have been fluent in English for more than 12 years and the phrase “I am an international student from Venezuela” is not that complicated. This person replied, “How cool! Is Venezuela in Texas?” To which I sassily responded, “No, honey. Texas is IN your country. I am from ANOTHER country.”

I started thinking about my friends and classmates who are also international students. I thought about the stories they have told me about the time someone laughed at the way they said the word “fish,” when somebody ask if what they saw in a movie about Colombia is true, or when someone told them “WTF is Kazakhstan?”  I was angry. I understand that it is impossible to know every single country, but I was shocked at the confusion particularly after I mentioned that I was an international student.

After the anger watered down, I realized that it wasn’t neither this person’s fault nor mine. I decided to stop judging and start educating. Since then I have become very open to questions about my home country. I answer them wholeheartedly, but I am never afraid to tell people the truth about the political situation of my country and I am not afraid to present the facts to those that make fun of me for being Venezuelan.

 In many opportunities, my friends who are also international students have told me about their experiences. Many of them come to me very angry and frustrated. I then ask them, “What did you do?” I encourage them to think about the fact that getting angry won’t solve the problem, patiently explaining the situation will. I always tell them that, as international students, they are ambassadors of their countries. Whatever they say or do, will be associated to their countries. As a Venezuelan Ambassador, I decided to teach and help others to understand my culture better.

There will always be things that upset you, these things happen for a reason. The next step is up to you. I want people to know about the great things my country has. However, my country is not the only one with a great culture and people. Being part of the Global UCF program has allowed me to make friends from all over the world and learn about their cultures. The opportunity to lead an Alternative Break trip with this amazing group of people came to me when I least expected it. I discovered quickly that this was a chance to keep on educating. Together we can help alleviate an issue that affects us all by bringing cultural awareness. We are going to teach about our cultures in two schools and help multicultural families in need. I believe we will create a great impact because there is nothing we are more passionate about than our culture and our curiosity for others. We simply can’t wait to go to Washington D.C to teach about our countries and to learn more about this country that has welcomed us all as students.  I never thought that being confused for a Texan could lead to anything, but it gave me the greatest idea to create change and help others.